Emotional Weeks

The Face of Our Son

Two weeks ago we went to the doctor for Lisa's regular checkup. As usual, he did an ultrasound.  Usually the picture is really grainy and I can't really tell the difference between the images on the screen and scenes from Alien.  But this time was different. The face was really clear. We could see his cheeks. And, as if on cue, he yawned. It was pretty cool.

Leland

We had to come home last week to say goodbye to Lisa's grandfather, Leland Nelson.  The family asked me to sing, so I was sitting on the stage while the preacher spoke words remembering him and his life.  It was a good perspective, really, to have on the affair.  I could look down and see generations of Nelsons sitting together, remembering husband, father, grandfather.  As the words were spoken, I could see the memories they evoked played out on the faces of his family. I was honored to be privileged to such a view.  Grandpa Nelson lived a full life. And, perhaps equally as important, he left behind folks who loved him.  He will really be missed.

The Flight Home

We had a pleasant surprise on the flight home!  We were set to return to Gainseville on a 6:30 AM flight from Denver this past Monday.  We took a 4:30 AM shuttle to the airport, thinking it would be a dreary day of travel. Instead, we found our flight was oversold. We volunteered to give up our seats in exchange for a travel voucher for another flight (which will help for return travels in May) AND WE GOT UPGRADED TO FIRST CLASS!  Jeff had given me a cap from Rod's Fix-A-Flat from Bushnell, NE. I proudly wore it while they served us a meal, drinks and entertained us with in-flight movies.  As Lisa put it, if you have to fly 8 months pregnant, that's not a bad way to do it!

Me, in first class, with Rod's Fix-A-Flat cap.  Keepin' it classy.

Surprise Baby Shower

After our first class affair, we landed in the Gainesville Airport around 6 PM.  Our friend Dan was there to pick us up. Lisa and I are in a small bible study group that meets once a week with Dan, his wife Heidi and several other folks about our age.  The plan was for Dan to take us to the bible study, even though we were REALLY tired from traveling.  We arrived at the place we were to have the study and Dan called Heidi, pretending to be a bit lost.  What he was REALLY doing was telling everyone to get in place for the SURPRISE BABY SHOWER!  When we walked through the door, they all yelled SURPRISE! There was food, streamers, gifts and all the folks from our group were there.  PLUS, Dan had found folks from back home, including our families, and had them send gifts and notes.  He even got the recipe for our favorite dessert (simply called "The Dessert") from my family.  It was such a blessing to feel at home, even though we weren't at "home".  Our group has only been together for a few months, but they are quickly becoming a family here.  We can't say enough how much we appreciated that gesture last week.

Something to Blog About

Recently I read that if you are a writer, it's important to set aside time and write. It's a habit. I enjoy writing, but haven't done so in quite a while.  I think it's time to get back into the habit.

When we were in Tanzania, I felt I had something to contribute.  We always had something happening both Lisa and I felt passionate about and were excited to share with everyone.  Since I've been back, frankly, I haven't felt I had anything to share.  I felt an urge to express something, but I lacked anything of any value to offer.

But that line of thinking was wrong.  I do have words to offer.

So, my focus, at least for now, is to find stories that I think inspire or share hope.

Here's my first one.

Lisa and I are having a baby in April.

Period.

I could just ruin that statement by gushing about excitement, etc. But I won't.  The line is story quite enough.

Getting Settled (a little)

This was a week of getting more into the "swing of things". I'm more comfortable with the bus system, for example. I went to my first Gators football game. I went to the beach in St. Augustine today. It's been a good week.  It will be good to have Lisa here though.

This next bit is going to make me seem like I'm off my rocker, but I felt compelled to write about it anyway.  I enter the building where I work from the back side. I enter there in part because it's the closest entrance and in part because there are banana trees growing at the base of the building as landscaping. I like the trees and the entrance is close and quiet. The other day, however, I noticed a strange skeleton set as if peering through the window from the building adjacent to ours. Upon closer inspection, I noticed it was the skeleton of a monkey.  Perhaps someone put him there as a source of irony, or simply by mistake, but that monkey skeleton is looking straight at those bananas!

What a story you could pull from that scene.  Forever locked inside staring at his food; his life source, is that monkey. He's dead, the tree is living.

I don't know what, if anything I'm supposed to learn from that monkey.  Maybe I just need something to occupy my mind. But, I bet, if given the choice, he'd sure rather be out from behind that glass, be up in that tree, and have his hands on one of those bananas.

Hmmmm... maybe got too much sun today :)

Made it to Florida

This alligator was out at Paines Prarie. He was one of about 30 that I could see. He crawled out on the path, plopped down and sunned himself for a while before crawling over to the other side. 

I'm in Gainesville, Florida right now. At the laundromat to be exact. I'm sweating like a (insert whatever inappropriate joke you want here...they will all work I promise!).  Here's the happenings from the last several weeks.

The Move
We packed 'er up from Lincoln about 1.5 weeks ago. What we couldn't fit we gave away or sold. Everything else went into a 6X12 U-Haul trailer which we pulled behind the Trailblazer (a recent purchase from Irene, Lisa's grandma).  We stayed in St. Louis one night and Chattanooga, TN the following before finding our way to Gainesville on night number 3. We moved in around noon on a Thursday. Our new friend Trey helped. We sweated buckets and buckets. Thank goodness Trey wasn't one to pass judgement on the amount of body fluids that can pass from one human being! But, but by around 2 PM or so we were moved in!

The Apartment
We're living in a 2 bedroom townhouse style apartment. There is a single story apartment below us.  It seems to be a quiet enough neighborhood.  I take the bus to school because it's about a mile from campus.  There are two swimming pools. I havn't worked up the courage to get into either one.  We keep the A/C cranked and the blinds pulled and it stays pretty cool inside.

The Orlando Airport
Lisa flew out the Friday before last. iPhone have a feature that changes the times on your calendars depending on the time zone you're in. It's annoying and not helpful...and put us late to depart Gainesville to get her to the airport. Long story short....we RACED down the road to get there only to find her flight had already departed. No problem though because we got to see each other a bit longer. She'll return on September 3rd...after being gone about 2 weeks. It's been strange going from being around each other almost constantly in Tanzania to being absent from each others' side for weeks (if not months literally) at a time over the summer.

The Job
I work as a research assistant in the department of agriculture education and communications. I work on a USDA grant, something that deals with getting more science into the agriculture classroom, and a different thing that works with university professors to make them better teachers. I have an office and the whole bit. I work with other PhD students. They talk about exciting stuff. I spent a lot of my time the first several days trying not to feel intimidated or say stupid things (failed at both miserably!).

The School
I'm a Ph.D. student in agriculture education at the University of Florida in Gainesville. I'm enrolled in a 6 hour statistics course and a 3 hour theories of learning course. I'm doing everything I can to get my brain warmed up to the idea that it wants to work again.  It's reluctant to say the least.

The Trip to the random prairie in the middle of Florida that has buffalo, wild horses and alligators
Last Sunday I went to church with Trey and his fience' Allison. After church we drove out to a prairie near Gainesville. We walked down this path to a small lake which was, it seemed to me, FILLED with alligators which were GROWLING at each other. They sounded like idling motorcycles (Sturgis all over again!).  It was cool and terrifying. I so wished for people from back home to be there with us to share in that experience. We would be standing near the bank and looking out over the water at all the gators we COULD see and then (on more than one occasion) look down and there would be a gator right at our feet looking up at us (licking his lips I swear).

The Fears
I'm afraid of our house not selling.
I'm afraid of Lisa finding work and I'm afraid of Lisa not finding work.
I'm afraid of looking like an idiot in front of all these people here.
I'm afraid of not making any new real friends.
I'm afraid of being eaten by an alligator in the middle of the prairie.
I'm afraid I'll fail at being a college student again.

All of these fears scream at me...especially in the evenings because it's just me and Kemma (our cat....and she's screaming at me too but usually just to pet her.)  They scream at me that I've made a mistake and that I'm not good enough and that I'm going to fail.  They cause, well, more fear.

God says not to be afraid. He says that lots of times in lots of places to lots of people throughout the Bible.  Usually those people he talked to could listen and do just that...stop being fearful.

I know what the "right answer is..." stop being fearful and place my confidence and trust in God.  This week (month, year, life, whatever...) my challenge is to put that into action.

But...I think I'll still be afraid of alligators :)

Transitions

Our house in Lincoln. The balloons are attached to a For Sale By Owner sign to draw people in for an open house.  Plus, at this angle, it looks like they are attached to the house and ready for take-off.

This is the part of life called transitions.  Moving. Selling. Changing. Change. Transitioning by it's very nature is unsettling. Here's a quick run-down of life since we returned back the US on April 7th.

- Visited 2 universities to decide where I would return to pursue a PhD (which is also to say we had to decide if that was what we were going to do at this point in time). We finally decided on the University of Florida in Gainesville....a really long ways from our families once again.

- Traveled thousands (literally) of miles to visit family and friends to catch up. Slept on couches and in spare rooms. Would never stay too long at any one place...would only ever stay long enough to "catch up" then fly off the next spot.

- Presented conferences for the FFA called NLCSO. Lisa and I didn't see each other for a month in June/July. I finally finished mine around July 10th and returned to see Lisa in Bushnell. She still has one more to do.  

- Selling our house and pickup. This is where we are now.  I'm in Lincoln right now. We're trying to do it "for sale by owner."  

- Moving to Florida soon.

F.S.B.O.

For sale by owner means you take on all the responsibility for making that sale happen. We've posted the pickup on Craigslist, Facebook, the local newspapers... I would have sent a plan up to do skywriting if I thought it would help. I've received scams from Craigslist..."send a money order and we'll send someone to come get the truck..." I've received anxious calls from pushy people. I've received calls from car salesmen wanting the pickup in their lot 65 miles away right now.  I've received help from my uncle. But, I havn't received an offer. 

Selling a house is also interesting, to say the least.  We've had stress keeping the place picked up. How much maintenance do you do? We also have two extra people living here....which means two extra relationships to manage...two extra people's things to make sure are picked up.  Our garage is FULL.   

Our first showing was supposed to happen at 5:00 PM on a Monday.  I get really nervous showing our house. Lots of nervous energy. I have to busy myself with just about anything that will keep my mind off of "oh, I hope they buy our house...."

Before the showing I went downstairs to ask our renter to pick up a bit. He did (with my help) and I left.  He was sick so I bought him a can of soup to warm up and eat. At 4:58 (no joke) he poked his head up the stairs and said "hey, can I get a little help here?"  I'm thinking he is trying to do some additional cleaning so I sprung down the stairs to help. NOPE! Turns out he had tried to warm up the soup but had accidently turned on the wrong burner. And, since his kitchen was so full of dirty dishes, some of them were sitting on the other burners.   The culprit was a large plastic bowl which was actually filled with water to soak some dirty silverware. The burner had melted the plastic causing an acrid smoke to fill the entire downstairs as well as empty the water all over the stove top.  Super.

I grabbed a towel, opened the doors, and tried to fan the smoke out.  I had to lock the top screen door open with the small metal tab that holds open the  hydraulic closure bar.  Just then, Lisa came by to do some laundry.  She noticed the open door and inquired about it. I explained the situation and she replied that I was letting in flies.  She asked if we could shut the doors and I said yes.  I continued to towel out the smoke and get more anxious that the prospective customer would walk through the door at any minute and run away because of the scene.

Just when I thought the chaos had simmered a bit, Lisa found me and said casually "that back door is broken."  "WHAAAT?" I bellowed?  Turns out Lisa hadn't noticed the closure bar being locked open and yanked the door shut only to rip out the screws from the closure bar leaving them and it hanging there like a limp appendage. Super.

Somewhere above us I believe there are angels without television.  They don't need television.  They just lounge on clouds with their heads propped up on their hands and watch the scenes unfold down below them.  I imagine the viewing on that Monday at 2810 Franklin Street was pretty funny.  It is to me now. Wasn't at the time.

Well, thank goodness the prospect was late. I got the door screwed back together. We fanned out enough smoke and lit a few candles.  Everything was right with the world once again.

Since then we've had a couple of open houses and lots of "thanks and we'll let you know." I'm working on keeping myself distracted because if I think too much about all this I get a bit crazy.  

Questions

This is the part that haunts us.  Is Florida the right place? Why am I working on a PhD...I don't really even know how to teach. Why are we moving again?  Will the house sell? Do we have what it takes to sell the house on our own? Why did we leave Tanzania? Why are we so far away from our families?

The short answer to all this... I DON'T KNOW.

Tanzania

We miss you.  We miss your children. We miss your chaos. We miss your freedom. We miss your opportunities for our involvement in helping to create a brighter tomorrow.  We miss your purpose in our lives.  We miss your sense of community.  

The Future

 Well, it might go like this...we sell the house and the pickup....rent an apartment in Gainesville and drive Grandma Nelson's car (which she sold to us and has been gracious enough to wait until we get the money from the sale of the pickup!). We might love it down in Florida and I will see that teaching at a University is EXACTLY what God designed me for.  Or not.  Maybe none of that will work out.  

I keep praying for clarity and confidence that we're moving in the right direction.  I think as of now, God just wants us to take a step.  If we keep trying to listen, He's going to tell us if it's right or not.

Saying Goodbye
Well, it's time to say goodbye to Orkeeswa and Tanzania.  We originally came for a one year stint and stayd for over 2 1/2 years.  Our families want our hides for being gone so long. Our friends here want us to stay.  So, it's with sad hearts that we wrap up this chapter of life.  Goodbye kids. Goodbye friends. Goodbye Eggman.

Celebration
Peter and friends were very generous and threw us a party a week ago. We ate two goats and celebrated with LOTS of people from the school and community.  Yes, even Eggman was there for a bit (what party would be complete without him!).

Last Day at the School
The last day of the school actually went pretty well. We had begun saying goodbye in our minds a long time ago. So, the mental transition was already well underway. Plus, I had just given one whale of a test to the form 3 & 4 students. They stumbled out of their classrooms to assemble and say goodbye to us. Had I been them, I'm pretty sure I would have been thinking "and good riddance!".  We said a few words of goodbye under the flag pole.

Peter, Saingorie & Kesume to the USA
We were also assembling to say goodbye to Peter, Sangorie & Kesuma. Saingorie and Kesuma will be studying in the US at a private school named Groton for two months.  Peter had a bad ankle sprain from a few days prior so it was bound to be an interesting trip for them.

Church with Agnes
On Easter Sunday we went to church with Agness and her family. After we ate 3 meals and listened to rap music while sweating profusely on the couch in her house. Heri ya pasaka!

Climbing Oldonyo Lengai
We climbed a still active volcano named Oldonyo Lengai. We went this past Monday with friends Thomas, Hamad and Mzee.  It took 6 hours on a terrible road to get there. We arrived, set up camp, slept for one hour and began to climb. Long story short - it was really difficult! Most of the slipper slope was at a 45 degree angle or better.  But, we all arrived at the rim around sunrise.  Yes, I did think the rising sun was magma glowing from the crater. No, Lisa didn't make too much fun of me for that. Yes, there was smoke and sounds coming out of the volcano.  The WORST though was coming down. We slipped and slid down for 3+ hours.   What an experience!

Final Reflections


Now it's time to say goodbye. Back to USA. Back to family. Back to the cold.  Thank you to everyone for coming along with us these past many days.  It has been quite an adventure and we're glad to have shared it.

Disappointment and Jubilation - February was a tough month

I forgot to mention...They put new doors in the IEFT communications office. A much needed improvement! You can see Lisa with a triumphant pose. 

Lisa with the champion girls basketball team from the St. Constantine's tourney.

I havn't written in a while and it's mainly because life has thrown so much our way!  Let me summarize the past roughly four weeks:

Mathews/ Salzar Family Visit
At the time that Peter was here we had guests - 2 adults and 2 children. One of the children was a 14 year old who had already raised a significant amount of money for the school. I was apprehensive at first, but after just a short time I must say I was so impressed by the maturity of both kids. They both had such generous hearts and troopers for so many things. The new form 5/6 building was dedicated to the young boy. Not bad at the age of 14!

Moshi Basketball Tournament
We went to the Mosthi Basketball Tournament. I reffed, Lisa coached (don't worry, we're still speaking!). The girls team won and the boys beat the championship team but because of the way things were set up they were not allowed to play in the championship game...I guess we'll say they got third.  It was a good weekend and NO dislocated appendages!

Peter Departs at 1:00 AM!
Immediately after the basketball tournement Peter departed in the middle of the night which was a bit of a surprise for all of us since he had read his ticket wrong! Oh well...drove back to Monduli from Moshi only to immediately return almost to Moshi!

Arizona State Visit and Form 4 Results
Black Tuesday.  After Peter left we had a visit from the representative from Arizona State. She was so kind and seemed very interested in our school. The Mastercard corporation has developed a scholarship program for students in Africa. It's highly competitive and we're hoping some of our students will be eligible. Arizona State is one of 20 universities who received the scholarship money to dispense...so I felt the visit was terribly important.  I think everything went well and we were so thankful for her taking the time to come out.

I should back up a bit. There is a man in Tanzania who helps TZ students get into college in the US and Canada. He runs a program that partners with universities all over the world, brings them here, facilitates their travel, etc... Anyway, he has taken a real interest in our school and has been helping in many ways. He had encouraged us to apply with some of our students to do some of their higher level studies (called A levels) at the international schools in TZ. The hope was that they would be better equipped to get into university in the US if we did that. We took his advice and filled out the paperwork for a school in Dar Es Salaam. We knew the entry requirements were quite difficult, mainly due to the need for a high score on the form 4 national exam, which our students had just taken.   The man who helps students get into universities was very much in the middle of the process  helping to facilitate it.

As luck would have it, this man and the Arizona State rep visited us on the same day the results came out. Unfortunately, our scores were not very good.  In fact, the scores across the nation were not very good.  In fact, over 60% of the students who sat for the form 4 national exam FAILED!  Yes, 6 in 10 students in TZ who would have potentially gone on for further education are now basically done with formal education.  6 in 10.

On our side, we had slightly better luck. 75% of our students passed. Great right? Well, not exactly. But, it gets slightly more complicated than that. In order to go on at our school (any high school) to A- Levels (basically junior/senior year) you have to get a certain score. 6 of our students got that score and are able to go on.  So, where does that leave the rest of the students? Do they go to vocational school? Are they finished with school completely?   Short answer...we're gathering as much information as possible to help them.

So...back to those two students we were trying to get in to that international school.  Not only didn't they get marks high enough...but one didn't even qualify to go to A- Level... at our own school!  I was just sick!

Where is the logic/justice/failure in this?  How did we let these kids down? How did the nation let these kids down? So many people keep trying to lift our spirits by saying our students performed REALLY WELL compared to the rest of the nation. One fact is that we were somewhere in the top 12% of score in the nation. But, it's really tough to see that right now.  We are so sad for those students who failed.  We had such high hopes and it has taken a serious re-direction for many of that first group.

Nevertheless, we are quickly trying to make adjustments that will help future cohorts of students to achieve higher marks.   It's tough, but I'm so thankful we finally have some actual information. I think Orkeeswa will be stronger because of this.

Stuff Stolen
Right around the same time that the form 4 results came out, one of the volunteers things were stolen. It was some serious stuff! Some things were returned, but not everything.  Cripes...can't we get a break!

Exam Panic Attacks
Also, around that time, one student began having panic attacks about the national exams. I've found this to be common. We just talk to them and get them calmed down and teach them stress relief techniques. But, it's scary and takes a toll on the kid. Hope we don't see many more cases of that!

St. Constantine's Basketball Tournament
Just this past Saturday we went to the basketball tourney in Arusha. Again, our girls won, but the boys did not fare so well.

Al Snyder Visited!
Part of the reason the basketball tourney was so fun was because AL SNYDER VISITED US! It was so fun to have him here. He's been a good friend for a very long time. I think we always knew he would come...so it was very natural to have him around!  We took him to the tourney, around some markets, to a few bomas, to the school (of course) and then went on a 2 day safari.  In his time here he built a hand washing bucket for our house (something Lisa has been after me to do for a LONG time now) and also a demo for a solar oven.   We were both thankful to have him here and so sad to see him go!

Hamad's Mother Passed Away
Nearly the day after Al left, our driver Hamad's mother passed. She had been sick. We went to the wake. I don't know why it struck me, but I just felt awful  Hamad has been a good friend. We're about the same age and I just felt for him.  The funeral was yesterday.

Kilimanjaro 1/2 Marathon
Today Lisa and many students / volunteers were in Moshi competing in this years Kili 1/2 marathon and 5K fun run. Lisa finished well and was happy with her time.  She is sleeping now because last night they were on the classroom floor at ISM and consequently didn't get much rest!

Wyoming State Officer Passed Away
I recently herd that the Wyoming State FFA Vice President passed due to a car accident. I was again so sad and shocked to hear that. Of course our prayers go out to him and his family and the Wyoming FFA.

One month to go...
Just one month to go. I don't know what to think. I'm excited about the change and to see family and friends. But, I just don't feel finished here.  I feel deeply embedded and this extraction is going to hurt.  I doubt this school needs much more of me and Lisa...we have many good people here. But, in so many ways I've come to need that school and all of the associations it brings.  This next month are bound to bring a mixed bag of emotions.

The Week

Cheese
Jane and Brady continue to make cheese recipes with goat milk. They are perfecting their craft but need renit. We're hoping to develop something consistently good that can be sold to restaurants in Arusha.

Trucks
Had a bad day on Wednesday. First, the Land Rover has a bad starter. We had to push it up a hill seven times to try and roll start it. Finally gave up. Then we got the bus, which was out of diesel. We finally arrived at school about 20 minutes late. About mid-morning the Hilux arrived. It, unfortunately, was not in gear and rolled down the hill and crashed into the side of the Form 3 classroom. Thankfull noone was hurt! The truck itself wasn't even all that badly damaged. But, it's out of commission for a while.  So is the bus now - something with the bearings. This is a TOUGH environment on vehicles!

Peter
Peter's back for only 10 days!

Jane
It's Jane's birthday on Monday...which means we started celebrating last night! Today I think (pending the transport situation...see above) that we will go to Monduli Juu then to eat Indian food!

Goats
The goats are unbelievably cute. The twin babies are part skateboarder. They will run and jump off the side of the building and kick their feet in the air. They are a fun addition to the school atmosphere.

A-Level
We had a group come up from a school in Dar to interview two of our students about an a-level position. That is an exciting prospect as this school has great relations with US universities and would potentially position these two students for going on there.  So, just need to fill out the applications and see.

Squash
I love the game called squash. Basically you go in a concrete room with your opponent and hit a small black rubber ball against a wall and try to score points. It's simple enough, but requires lots of quick running, etc... I like it because you can hit that little ball really hard but it's not very bouncy so it sort of hits with a thud.  We played just last night after a long week of school. Great stress relief but here I am on the couch blogging instead of moving around very much!

Wageni means Guests

We had the week of guests!

Monday - 15 people including 5 with video cameras for a program called World Leadership School
Wednesday - Connie from Greenwich Academy, a private school in Boston
Thursday - no school due to Eid (you know, the Tanzanian snow day!)
Saturday - 12 visitors from Australia Rotary who are raising funds to build the computer / library building.

BUSY WEEK!

Oh, and by the way on Friday we elected our new student leadership with some of the BEST speeches I've heard. Best answer - when asked, how are you going to improve things in this position from the previous leaders, the student (who was running to be the time keeper) replied - "it's not that they did a bad job...I wouldn't change anything they did...but they are TIRED and I'm here to help them!"  He won, by the way!

Lota was selected as our president. I think he'll do a great job of leading the Orkeeswa student body this year. He's out of uniform here as he is in a drama of some kind in this picture.  He's one of the most positive people I've ever met. 

This Ole House

These are two of our students and one of our teachers who were selected to attend a three week leadership event in the United States through the U.S. Embassy.  This is the second time Orkeeswa has sent students on the trip.  Lisa and I were luck enough to be traveling through Denver when these guys were there with Bold Leaders. So, we stopped in and visited them for a while. It was strange seeing them in the northern hemisphere!  The man on the left is the director of Bold Leaders. 

These are the first four recipients of the Orkeeswa Rural Entrepreneurship Development Program loans. They immediately began their small business with these loans and have already brought in their first repayments. Some of the money is going into a savings account for them as well for university.

We had a random layover in London on the way home. So, we stayed the night, ate some food and walked to a palace. We weren't expecting this (mainly because we hadn't looked very closely at our plane tickets!) but it was a nice holiday!

We moved into a new house. It's small but we are living on our own...which is nice. It's also right behind the other volunteer house, so we can have company if we want.  There's been a lot of other stuff happening too since we got back:

• our goat had a set of twins! Plus we added four new mama goats so now we're up to 6 plus three babies. They sometimes try to walk into the classrooms...they have no respect for boundaries
• we have a swarm of bees in one of the hives
• we are getting chickens (20) today (fingers crossed)
• our rabbits lived over the holiday and I think one of them is pregnant
• that garden still struggles (as does our ability to manage it successfully!) but we got some sorghum sudan grass as hay off of it, so that's good. Also, the fruit tree orchard looks great with all the rain we've been getting.
• classes are underway and going well. Honestly the first two weeks went really well. We have great staff and a really good group of students. We have something like 15 teachers now, which is GREAT!
• We're making progress on the entrepreneurship program. Brady, the other ag teacher received a $1500 grant to buy curriculum. We're going to use the ESI curruculum from Nebraska 4-H.
• Mud- had to walk a few times because of the mud and also slogged through it successfully a few times.  I think that's a fun element to the day...but it sure can eat up your time and morale if you're not lucky!
• Oh, we also got our form 2 (8th grade) results back and they were very good. We had NO students fail (first time for that) and also were around the top 11% of over 370 schools in the region.  Agriculture was 10th out of 90 some schools too, so I was proud of my kids for doing so well.

We've also had some struggles too..

• Lisa's had a bit of a chest cold...hopefully going to whip it soon
• New house has LOTS OF MOSQUITOES  The little buggers find their way right to your ears at 4 AM. I appreciate the music, but their timing is all wrong
• We had to make some tough decisions on managing some of our lower academically performing students. I'm learning a lot as a leader from these conversations and decisions, but my hope is we (I) can use any wisdom we have to help these students and also build a solid school with really high standards.
• Tough mentally transitioning our way out of here. We've been here for what seems like forever. But now, we find ourselves having to say "when we're not here, this responsibility is going to be done by so and so..." It's good to have this time and try to equip the new leadership as well as possible.  It's just tough personally because you have such a connection, etc...  

That's the happs around here!  It was SO nice to see family and friends at Christmas and we're really blessed with a few final months here in TZ.  I guess we'll see everyone at home around the first part of April!

Seth

Home

We're home.  I like the sound of that. The way it hits and resonates. Some people have no homes to return to. Or, if you're married you have some ambiguity of which set of homes are "home".  I'm lucky; I get two sets of solid, sink into the couch and get fat and just live kind of homes to visit.  I'm fortunate in that regard.

I haven't written in quite some time, so here's a run-down:

• We finished exams about two weeks ago and had our end of year celebration.  I feel we ended strong this year - much stronger than in years past. We have a lot of returning staff in January so I'm excited about the new year.
• I had an impromptu trip to Nairobi with Thomas to attend a conference with other NGOs doing work with youth in East Africa. I say impromptu because it was decided the day before that we would be the ones attending. It was great!  We learned a lot and networked a lot with like minded practitioners. But, it also meant being gone for two days right before the end of school.  Our staff was great though and they had no problems while we were gone. 
• Lisa was in Liberia for three weeks! She was doing agriculture research asking Liberian farmers about current practices.  She enjoyed the work and had quite the adventure in Liberia. 
• We went to sport's weekend after the last day of school and had a three day sports fest. Our teams took first in girls basketball, second in rugby (yes, rugby!) and second in volleyball.  We had a scare as one student fell and dislocated her elbow...bad way to end the tournament. She is OK now. We immediately took her to one of the best hospitals in the country just a few minutes from where we were playing.
• I was able to re-visit the hospital where I had been sick a year ago, almost to the day. Strangely enough when we were coming back from Nairobi, we boarded our bus right across the road from the doctor's office.  I ran across the street to pay him a visit, but he wasn't around.  It was strange to have the one year anniversary but also great to be in such a different place (mentally and physically) this time around.
• We said hello to new volunteers Ben, Melanie and Sara.
• We said good bye to our friends Allison, Lani, Lisa P. and Scott.
• We flew home! We took a cheap flight (Fast Jet) from Arusha to Dar, stayed the night in Dar, flew to London, stayed the night in London, then flew to Denver.  We did that series to save money...not sure we actually succeeded :)

There's been some talk about what Lisa and I will do when we more "permanently" return to the U.S. As many know, we are returning in January and will be finished at the end of March to return in April.  We'll return to the U.S. after that.  Rest assured, our answer is still a resounding "we don't know what we'll do when we return."  Lisa will work part time for IEFT for sure and beyond that, we are still making some decisions.  My hope is that we use whatever wisdom God affords us as we look ahead. For now, we're just happy to be home.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE AND I HOPE OUR PATHS CROSS VERY SOON.

Exams, Fish & Frogs

Preform Student Kipara by his Boma. He's in my woodworking club!

Form 2 Student Solomon looking very Maasai.

Students battling it out in intramural football. 

Exams

This entire week we’ve been doing Form 4 national exams and an internal Form 2 mock examination.  To say the least it’s been a lot of work. Every morning I pick up Thomas, the exam proctor and two armed guards at 7 AM to take the actual exams out to the school.  Students are tested all day. The form 4’s still have another week of this fun too! Spirits seemed to be high the whole week.

Fish & Frogs

As a part of the exam, students taking biology, agriculture, chemistry and physics have to do a laboratory practical.  The biology one involved A LOT of prep work to find specimens, etc…  This week alone we’ve had to find (and kill) frogs (thank you to our local motorcycle taxi driver on that one), cockroaches (no comment), fish (bought at local market, almost made Lisa vomit…) and crabs (preserved in some salt…stunk like death…stored in our freezer…didn’t end up using them anyway!).

Clubs

We started clubs this  past Thursday. I’m excited to be doing WOODWORKING club again! One of the volunteers did a fundraiser and was willing to pay for the wood, etc… so we can do that this term.  Lisa is doing BASKETBALL club with the new pre-form students too and apparently they are loving it. 

Andy & Ming Say Goodbye

Computer teachers Andy & Ming fly out today. In their 6 month stay, they’ve set up the computer lab and taught classes. They’re heading back to Cambodia to continue their work there.

Sports

The boys and girls are part of a soccer league. So, every Saturday we load up and take them somewhere to play. Yesterday, Saturday, Lisa took the girls and Mzee took the boys.  They learn a lot.

Drip-line Irrigation

Brady and I went to a short presentation about drip-line irrigation yesterday. IT WAS AWESOME. I can’t wait to figure out how to get a system up and going at the school. There is so much potential I think for this. As per usual though, we need to find where to get the systems, get some funding, etc…! Never a lack of ideas.

No more Laguna Beach House Study Camp

For the past several weeks all of the female volunteers have been staying at the school Monday through Thursday nights with the Form 4 girls. They called it Laguna Beach House Study Camp.  I think it’s really helped the girls have precious time/location with which to study. It’s also nearly exhausted the female staff. So, with the near completion of the Form 4 exams, we all said good-bye to the study camp. I think it will be a bit of a welcome relief.

Lots to celebrate, no energy to do it!

By Friday of this week we had a LOT to celebrate! We had successfully pulled of most of the Form 4 exams (including ¼ of the practicals), offered reviews, finished a several month long project in LBH study camp, held school improvement meetings, taught the rest of the kids and did the normal great things that happen here.  However, it was one of those weeks that no one had the energy required to do the celebrating! The thing which we were celebrating was to much! We’ll have to wait for another day. Or some Red Bull.

What's been happening not so lately...

Students learn how to keep our new rabbits from Meshak.

A small group of students prepare the hang our new bee hives. 

Form 5 & 6 buildings under construction. 

Our new bus!

Lots has been happening!  Here's the run down:

• We have new volunteers!
• We finished the goat house, got rabbits, and hung the bee hives. 
• We got a school bus.
• I turned 31 (so old now...)
• Form 4 students take their exams next week.
• Got 37 new kids learning English; our new pre-form 1 kids

I've had to try and grow as a leader to transition into less teaching and more administration. I've struggled a bit because I really love teaching. But, I also am enjoying learning how to help other teachers grow and also work in ways to improve the overall school.

Lisa has been REALLY busy wearing hats of : office manager, volunteer coordinator, life skills coordinator, and sports and activities coordinator. 

I'll try to keep this thing updated more frequently! Please forgive my tardiness.

Love better be a big house

I can remember when my show steer died. We were training him how to use a halter and he fell wrong and broke his neck. I was heartbroken at the time. I also broke my leg one time in junior high wrestling. It was nothing serious and I guess that ended my dreams of wrestling grandeur at an early age…probably for the best! By in large though, I've not suffered much in my life; very little in fact.

But this past week, I've seen glimpses of pains I've not experienced before. Pain inflicted by a student on himself from making a poor personal choice. Pain inflected on a child from a violent family member because… who really knows why. Pain from just realizing how alone a human can feel. Pain from fear.

Martina McBride sang a song a few years ago about love being the only house big enough for all the pain in the world. The song describes a few pains we humans endure – lack, want, strife, grief. She offers the solution of an active love; getting in there and getting your hands dirty. I agree, in general, with her words.

I'll be honest, this past week left me feeling numb. It seemed several things came at once – enforcing difficult policy, teachers pouring out their souls and still feeling empty, some really sad village issues in which the school was asked to intervene (and was thankfully in a position to help!), students unsure what's going to happen on big exams and pushing themselves so hard that you just think they're going to break. Fear. Hurt. Pride. Exhaustion. Misunderstandings. Pain.

Can we be a balm in the wounds? I sure hope so. I have found I have an unlimited capacity to cause hurt. I can be a cruel, self centered, small and vindictive person. At worst, I can sling pain just because I feel like it. I can also just do nothing about it when I see it happening around me too. Often do. But, I also have the ability, sometimes, and in some ways, to show love. And man, that's what I have to do.

We're going back to school this week (had a random holiday today) and we're only going to there until Friday before we have another week long break. We have new volunteers coming in. We have this high stakes test coming up in about a month for our form four students. We have new students starting in about a month too. Oh yeah, there's also limited food and water in the village and the price for everything is skyrocketing. Lots of people aren't going to be able to eat pretty soon. Timing's ripe for some stress, anxiety and lack of sleep. Put another way, timing is right for pain.

I hope I'm not the source of too much pain. I hope I'm a person who is bringing people into that house Martina sang about. And, I hope it's really freakin' big.

In Rodeos and Seminars...

 Teachers do a team building activity at the retreat.

 Students waiting in line for a chance to be an Orkeeswa student.

Mamas cleaning beans for school lunch.

Teacher Meetings
Monday and Tuesday we held teacher meetings.  My sister likes to say "remember Seth, in rodeos and seminars, the difference between being bored and gored is the quality of the bull."  I've tried to take that to heart when planning these meetings. I like to think things went well both days with some time for work, some time for educational theory and of course some time for volleyball. I really think we have some great teachers right now - both Tanzanian and Western.

Students Returned
Students returned in a peaceful fashion this past Wednesday. They were a bit tired and ready to go home on the first day. But, they were eager to be back in the classroom.

New Student Selection
Once again we held student selection this week. We had over 300 arrive the first day. But, since we only pull from three villages that number is quickly pruned to a more manageable amount.  First we make sure the student is who they say they are and that they belong to one of the viable villages.  Then, they sit for two tests over two days. Lisa and I helped grade the test yesterday but declined today. From the average of those two tests, we take the top 50 or so students and do a home interview with them. From that list the final 35 or so students are selected to be Orkeeswas.  It's exciting to think of the next personalities.



Mimyute
We have a form 2 student who did a good thing this week. Everything was off of the walls in the classrooms because volunteers had repainted.  We are in the process of putting up bulletin boards and other things, but hadn't made much progress in the form 2 classroom. For some reason two of the bulletin boards were left in the classroom.  I got word after school on Thursday that Mimyute, a form 2 student was looking for me. I thought he was likely sick (since that's what so and so is looking for you typically means...). I walked in the form 2 classroom and discovered something. The reason Mimyute was looking for me was because he was putting up the bulletin boards on his own and couldn't quite get the last screw out of the wall to hang the final board.  He wasn't looking for praise or attention. He just saw a need and worked to make his classroom better.  It was pretty simple, but it sure had an impact on me.

You don’t call, you don’t write…

 Fish eagle from Lake Malawi. The guide would throw in fish and this guy swooped in to grab them.

 Pretty sunset from Victoria Falls.

Pretty sunset from Lake Malawi.

To our readers (all 8 of you J )…sorry for being SO LONG between posts! I’ll try to mend my ways in the coming months. Here’s what’s been happening for about the last five weeks.

Lisa went to America

About four weeks ago Lisa flew to America.  She got the flight in exchange for helping a friend with her one year old baby on the long flights. So, as long as she was already home, she visited her sister in Montana and family in Nebraska.  She was only there for about a week, but had a really good trip.

Zambia

Right after Lisa returned (about 3 weeks ago), we went to Zambia. We took an 8 hour bus ride to Dar Es Salaam. Then, we took a train to Zambia. The train was supposed to take 48 hours to arrive in a town called Kapiri Mposhi in south central Zambia. However, due to delays, etc… it took 48 hours to get just past the Zambian border; only about ½ way! We decided to hop out (don’t worry the train was stopped!) and take a bus the rest of the way.  The train itself was a cool experience. It was old and dirty. But, we could just sit in our private cabin and watch the land go by. Since we went through the Selous Game Reserve just at dusk, we saw a giraffe and a few other animals.

We arrived in a town called Lusaka, which is the capital of Zambia, around 7 AM. We were surprised by how modern the town was! For as poor as Zambia is, the infrastructure of Lusaka was quite good.

From Lusaka we took another bus south to Livingstone. We stayed at a place called Jollyboys which was a “backpacker” place. The prices throughout Zambia were quite high. We paid between $40 and $60 / night for the three nights at Jollyboys. The prices varied because we changed rooms every night! But, it seemed worth it because of the laid back atmosphere of the place.

From Livingstone we were able to easily get to Victoria Falls.  This place was obviously spectacular! We took loads of pictures and enjoyed the whole day there. I really enjoyed walking on a bridge where we could get sprayed by the mist of the falls.  We could walk right up to the edge of the cliff and look down! We could also walk right down to water where a large whirlpool was formed. Of course none of this stuff was very safe, so I’m glad we survived unscathed. The closest incident I think was when we were walking back up the path from the whirlpool. There were three large baboons sitting on the path in front of us.  I was alarmed because they had babies with them and I pictured mama baboon protecting her baby by eating me.  We tried ignoring them. Then we tried yelling at them. Then, when they didn’t move, I had the genius idea of blazing our own trail through the bush to get around them. We did that and after Lisa’s sandals were filled with dirt and gravel, she didn’t think it was such a genius plan J.  We stayed another day in Livingstone and just walked around the town, ate good food and relaxed. While we were there, we decided to go to Malawi.

Malawi

So, last week, we went to Lake Malawi. We took one day to go from Livingstone to Lusaka (on a SUPER nice bus… personal LCD TV sets in the back of every seat and a snack that they served us…this just doesn’t happen in Africa!). Then, another day to get from Lusaka to central Malawi. Then ANOTHER day to get from whatever that town was to where we wanted to go in north central Malawi called Nkhata Bay.  This last leg nearly broke Lisa and I because it took 12 hours and should have taken 5. We were crowded on this bus which would go about ½ a mile between stops and then just wait for approximately 20 minutes at each stop. MADDENING!  We were expecting to arrive mid-afternoon. But, as night fell, so did our spirits. To make matters worse, after waiting SO LONG at each stop, the bus would then speed off down the road, taking blind corners really fast. At one point, a mom and her son went shooting off their seat after the driver took a corner exceptionally fast.  The boy landed clear under Lisa’s seat, a little bewildered!  We did not like Malawi much those first couple days. But then we arrived at Njaya Lodge and everything changed.

Njaya Lodge

We stayed three nights in a place called Njaya Lodge. We paid $26/night to stay in a HUGE room which opened up to the enormous and beautiful Lake Malawi. The staff was really service minded and took care of us. The food was good. The atmosphere was really peaceful.  After the final bus ride to get there, we were SO thankful for the pleasant surroundings.  We just relaxed the first day. Then, the second day we took an OLD wooden boat out on the lake.  We fed fish eagles which swooped down out of a tree to get the fish from the surface of the lake.  Then, I went snorkeling with some of the most brightly colored fish I’ve ever seen: blues, yellows, black & white. They were really pretty. The water was so clear you could see to the bottom, even on really deep parts.  The final night we just sat out on the porch and the water was really calm. The sky and water just kind of melted together to where it was virtually impossible to differentiate the two. It was a really peaceful place.  After some rest and fun there we needed to return here!

Mbeya

To get from the lodge to Tanzania took some effort! We took a taxi from the lodge to Nkhata Bay. Then a shared taxi from Nkhata Bay to a larger town called Mzuzu. Then a mini-bus from Mzuzu to about 15 miles before the border. Then another shared taxi to the border. Then we walked across the border. Then took another mini bus to Mbeya (on the Tanzanian side). Then we took a taxi to our hotel. AND IT ALL WORKED! Early that next morning we took a 20 hour bus from Mbeya back to Arusha.  This last ride was a little spooky. The road was quite windy and the driver was more than willing to take the turns on either side of the road.  On more than one occasion we saw trucks which had gone over the side; one was even quite recent.  At one point, Lisa stood up to stretch her legs and was able to see through the front window. She said it was far more terrifying actually seeing what was in front of us so we just kept our heads buried in the sand, so to speak, and were a lot better off!

Overall…

It was a wonderful trip. We didn’t get many long stretches of rest and relaxation. But, it was a good mix of rest with exploration. The bus rides were really long. Zambia was way more expensive than we would have thought. Lake Malawi and Victoria Falls were incredible.  Now it’s time to get back to work!

Now

We’re back in Monduli.  There are LOTS of people around. The visitors from Groton, the private high school in Boston, just left. We are living with Jeff & Jenny (1st ever volunteers who returned for 6 weeks and will leave after two more weeks from now) and Andy & Ming (setting up the computer lab and will stay for another couple of months). Down in the other house there is Juliet (English teacher leaving in 2 days), Allison (English teacher leaving in 6 months), Scott & Lisa (return volunteer teachers staying for 6 months), Alex (office manager staying until October). In another house is Jessica and Ester (MIT students working on getting internet to the school). Then there’s always Peter too! And, in about a month, we’ll get 4 more volunteers for pre-form English immersion, agriculture and English. Unfortunately, almost everyone is leaving in December. So, after all of this “feast” of volunteers then will come the “famine” of nearly everyone going their own separate ways. 

School begins next Wednesday after two days of teacher meetings (which I need to go get together!).

Check out Lisa’s Facebook page for lots of pictures of everything. She is getting REALLY good with her camera skills.  We are really missing everyone at home and are so sad about the dry conditions and the fires.  

What Lisa's Been Busy With

Allison, Lisa and Juliet. Allison and Juliet are volunteers at Orkeeswa and also competed in the triathalon. Juliet did two of the legs! I couldn't figure out how to flip this picture so you'll just have to tilt your screen a little. It's easier on a laptop. 

Lisa's team - Beth and a dude I don't know. Beth is from Montana and has been our friend ever since language school.

These are our kids who competed at the cross country meet.

Lisa's story while I was in the USA
Here's the Reader's Digest condensed version. Basically, Lisa had a rough week...

• She got sick
• She had to do my job
• She competed in a triathlon after being sick (she did the running portion)
• She helped volunteers in the middle of the night
• She took sick kids to the hospital
• She taught one of my classes

Trying to leave a lasting impact
Ever since I returned, I've been thinking about after we're gone from here.  How will I know we've done anything?  Will anything continue like we're doing it after we leave? I know growing new leaders and new systems is really important. But, have we done that?  I don't know, but it's a bit where our minds are now.

Students participate in a cross country meet
Our kids went to a cross country meet last Saturday with Allison and Lisa. They were second out of eight teams. They also only competed in two of the four events. So, I'd say they did pretty well!

Where do I begin...

So much has happened since my last post. I suppose I should start from where I am and then work my way back.

Grandpa Pannell passed away
I'm home in the USA now. I got the call Friday and was able to book my ticket and board my plane on Saturday to return here for a week.  Grandpa had been sick for just a short time. He was 91.  He was a hero of mine.  Lisa and I had seen him in January and celebrated his 91st birthday. He was fine (and by fine I mean he had no physical or mental problems) then. I could say a lot about Grandpa.  Let me suffice it to say that I hope to live a life half as full as him.

Dissapointments
Just before I left I was dissapointed in a few things.  Students had not returned some borrowed books and I was dissapointed in the choices they were making.  Teachers were showing up late to work and I was dissapointed in what I considered to be lack of respect for the school.  Some students had created issue with their attendance because of choosing to get circumcised in the middle of the school year and I was dissapointed in that.  But, more than anything, I was was dissapointed in myself. I was dissapointed in my lack of forsight with the books. I was dissapointed in not being a better leader with our teachers. I was dissapointed with being completely clueless of this cultural issue of circumcision and also my own incompetence in being able to react to the situation.  I've been trying to help build the school a goat house for nearly a year now.  For SO many reasons the house isn't finished. For some reason, it's been a constant reminder to me of my own short comings and failings.   I think a person who does this sort of work has to continue to remind themselves of that serenity prayer... Lord give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

New Volunteers Arrive
A few weeks ago we got three new volunteers. Andy and Ming are from the UK. They're staying for 6 months to set up a computer network in our school. Alex is also from the UK and staying for a year to serve as the office manager.

Audi Got Married
Audi, a teacher with us for the past 2 years, got married a few weeks back! Allison's dad was here at that time and we all went to the wedding. It was quite a lot of fun and was even televised on three Tanzanian television stations!

Juliet turned another year older
We celebrated Juliet's birthday this past Friday night.  We whooped it up Monduli style!  Then I got on a plane and flew to America.

We went on Safari in Teringeri
We had a one day holiday on May 1st and went on Safari with Lisa, Alex, Juliet and myself (Allison was hanging with her dad).  We saw a pride of nine lions walk right next to our car! We also saw many elephants, giraffe, etc... It was Alex's first safari, so he was really having fun!

Thoughts now from home
I return from here on Sunday.  I really miss Lisa.  I am cleaning out Grandpa's stuff from his house and bringing it over to Mom and Dad's.  I moved his saddle today. I like being able to see my family.  I'm excited that some of them are coming for a visit in June.  All of these recent circumstances have made me wonder about how to transfer farms (or any family business or property for that matter) without tearing a family apart.  I enjoyed seeing our friend Joe, a young guy my age who flew out  all the way from Ohio just to say good-bye to Grandpa.

I'm always struggling with geography.  I want to be there but I don't want to leave here.

Final thought... Grandpa was a really good neighbor.  He was kind to pretty much everyone.  He liked to make pies or just give away random things to people (Joe was just telling me Grandpa had given him a car to get back to Ohio one time...).  The Bible says "love your neighbor as yourself."  I like to think Grandpa did that.

We had a tough week this past week. Without going into details, here's the gist...

Village Pressures - If a student gets circumcised, it takes them out of school for a month while they are healing. However, they get beat by the other boys who are circumcised until the deed is done. Plus, there's a big expensive party that the family has to throw when it happens. Some of our families can't afford it. So, from the school's perspective... just wait until June when we have a month long vacation! From the kid and families perspective... yeah right!

Sickness - We have a complicated medical issue concerning one of the students. Thankfully the school is there to give it even this much attention... I doubt it would have gone much beyond the traditional medicine if the student was somewhere else. We sent the student one place and finally felt like we had an accurate diagnosis. Then, we had to send the student to a different place for the medicine. They refused saying the diagnosis was wrong. Cripes! Who are you supposed to believe? And, in the midst of things is the student who just needs help.

Being a girl - It's really difficult to be a girl around here. They are valued less in the eyes of the community in every situation. Sometimes things happen that remind you how tilted that scale really is. I guess that's why we'll continue to do the work we do to fight that fight.

Health care - A friend of ours was in the hospital. But, since it was the Easter weekend there were no doctors around. Went in on a Friday... didn't see a doctor until the next Wednesday! By then, it was necessary to do an emergency surgery. Ah! How can this happen!

Anyway, I had to electronically vent a little today I guess.